Gaslighting the ultimate renewable resource.

If you have a chronic illness, you’ve probably perfected the fine art of self-gaslighting. You know, when your body is screaming in pain, but your brain’s over here like, “Eh, it’s probably nothing serious. Just walk it off… slowly… or, you know, crawl.”

Let me set the scene: It’s a random Tuesday. You wake up, and your knees feel like they’ve been switched out with those of an 80-year-old circus performer who’s had a very rough career. You try to stand, and your hips crack louder than a microwave popcorn bag. But what do you tell yourself?

“It’s probably just because I slept funny.”

Ah, yes, sleeping. The most dangerous extreme sport for people with chronic pain.

The Weather Blame Game

Self-gaslighting really kicks in during the colder months. Your fingers are swollen, your joints are stiff, and getting out of bed is an Olympic event. But instead of accepting that this is just the fibromyalgia/arthritis life, what do you do?

“It’s just the weather! When it warms up, I’ll be fine!”

Spoiler: It doesn’t get better when it warms up, but we like to pretend. OK!, the electric heatblankets and packs in ever spot in the house keeps the illusion going.  It’s a delicate dance of denial and optimism.

Fast forward to July. The sun is blazing, you’re sweating buckets, and your joints still hate you. So now you switch tactics:

“It’s probably just the heat. I’ll be fine when fall comes.”

And the cycle continues!

The “Am I Just Lazy?” Debate

This is a classic one. You’ve been on the couch now for two days straight because your body is holding a rebellion, but then that little voice in your head starts whispering:

“Maybe I’m just being lazy. I could probably get up and do something.”

Sure, your body feels like it’s been hit by a bus, but you’re convinced a trip to the grocery store will fix everything. After all, you just need to push through, right? " Pull up your big girl pants and get on with life." We have all heard that one more than once."

You finally muster the energy to leave the house, limp through the aisles, and—BOOM—two hours later, you’re back in bed wondering why you ever thought you could function like a normal person.

The “It’s Just Stress” Mantra

Now, this one is fun because it’s basically the greatest hits of every doctor appointment ever. Only this time, instead of your doctor gaslighting you, it’s your own inner voice.

Feel like you’ve been run over by a truck for no apparent reason?

“It’s probably just stress! Once this deadline passes, I’ll be fine.”

Because stress is apparently the root of all our problems. Never mind that you’ve been managing stress for years like a pro, and yet your pain levels remain sky-high. The next deadline comes and goes, and shocker—you're still curled up in bed with an ice pack, but hey, it's just stress, right?

The Ultimate Lie: “It’ll Get Better Tomorrow”

The crown jewel of self-gaslighting: the promise of tomorrow.

“Today was bad, but tomorrow, I’ll definitely feel better!”

Sweet, sweet denial. We tell ourselves this every night like a bedtime story. It’s what gets us through the day, even though we know deep down that tomorrow will likely be another dumpster fire.

But hey, sometimes it works! Because there are those rare, magical days when you actually feel a bit better. And that’s when you go completely off the rails—overcommitting to social plans, deep-cleaning your house, or (God forbid) attempting a workout. The next day, you’re right back where you started: on the couch with your heating pad and a mountain of regret.

The Community of Self-Gaslighters

The best part? You’re not alone in this self-gaslighting journey. The fibromyalgia, rhurmatoid arthritis, me/chronic fatigue community is basically one big support group for people who constantly convince themselves “It’s not that horibble” while simultaneously being unable to open a jar of pickles.

We’ve all been there—making excuses, brushing off the pain, and telling ourselves it’s temporary. Spoiler: it’s not. But you know what? We’re tough. We’ve got a sense of humour. And we will keep telling ourselves that tomorrow will be better because eventually, it might just be. Even if it’s only for a few hours.

So the next time you find yourself lying on the floor, joints creaking, telling yourself, “This is fine,” just know—your chronic illness club has your back. Figuratively, of course. We can barely lift our arms.